My heart aches deeply missing my sister anytime I give myself time to think about it. I am hoping the words I have to share are a soothing balm to my own heart as well as to any of you who might need to hear the same thing.
Personally, I have found some solace in the symbolism in something meaningful remembered of a person, for my sister that symbol is a tree. At first I truly thought this was because of a piece of art that always hung on a wall in her house, but the significance goes so much deeper.
It started some time ago in a little library where we grew up. Shelly, my sister, took me to the library and allowed me to pick out two books, "The Little Princess" and "Paddington Bear". I don't remember much about any other part of that day except how special I felt and how much Shelly trusted me to let me use her library card to borrow books. When I was a child, reading was an escape for me and I was a voracious reader so that day was a treat I have always remembered. And, I know what you must be thinking, how are we getting from books to trees, but stay with me!
This love for reading continued throughout my life and when I had my children, what did I most want to pass on to them? My love of reading! I loved the silliness of a poetry book that lead to more books by the same author. One of my favorite books by him that I read to my kids is called "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein. If anyone isn't familiar with the story, a young boy asks a tree for various things as he grows up and by the very end the tree has given the boy everything he can.
This is where the tree starts to represent so much more for me in comparison to the way Shelly lived her life. Her love branched out like a tree to so many people. You could always count on finding shelter under the love she showed. It was extraordinary how you could come to her feeling pretty worthless and leave feeling like a champion. All of these things encompassed her personality and so much more, whether it be the branches of her love giving comfort to you in a time of need, the strength of her soul holding you together when you were falling apart or just providing a comfortable place to sit, talk about life and laugh a bit.
Now we go even deeper, deep, deep down to the roots of a tree because Shelly's faith in God was strong. We became prayer partners when I was going through a Bible Study. I remember how eloquent her words were to God and I remember my desire to be able to speak to God and people with my words at the exact same time just like her. Another distinct memory that still makes me beam with pride over was a moment of transition for my family. I had always taken care of the bills in our household but I was determined to get my husband to see how hard it was and to take it over. Let's just say there was a learning curve and things got pretty awful for a bit. I remember Shelly telling me how proud she was of the faith I showed that God would see us through. I never felt like my faith was that strong but she saw that in me and made me feel like a warrior, because that is what she did, she saw the good in you before you saw it in yourself.
Don't you think that has to be THE most Christ-like trait we could have? To look past all the negative things in someone and peel the layers back to see what God sees? What she saw must have been inspiring and frustrating all at the same time. But, it reminds me of the verse that I believe is my inspiration for her symbolically reminding me of a tree. It is in Jeremiah 17:8, For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.
As I remember her on this day that was her last day on Earth, I will remember that she is like a tree, whose roots spread, who saw no heat and whose leaf continues to flourish even when her physical body was no more. I see her fruit every day, in me, in my other sisters, in my children, in her children, in our extended family and to all the friends and people whose lives she touched. What an awesome legacy she leaves us by having taken these words to heart. She is missed every day but those of us whose lives she touched will hold her in our hearts forever.
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